Pass the Sanity, Please!

People always ask, "What's it like being a mom?" Oh, you mean besides being the unpaid CEO, COO, project manager, scheduler, chef, chauffeur, event planner, inventory manager, therapist, and human reminder app? It's great. Take today, for example. Before my feet even hit the floor this morning, my brain had already started running through its daily checklist. What time do the kids need to be up for swim practice? Do we have enough time for breakfast before we have to leave? D

When I was a kid, the adults in my life were very, very concerned about my future safety. Elementary school and middle school were basically a never-ending preparation course for a world filled with lurking strangers in trench coats, aggressive drug dealers with hurt feelings, and spontaneous fires breaking out at every turn. I was ready . I had Stranger Danger drilled into my soul. D.A.R.E. taught me that at any social gathering, someone would inevitably shove drugs in my

For an entire week, my weather app promised destruction. Not just snow— Snowmageddon . We’re talking 17–21 inches of the fluffy white stuff, topped with nearly an inch of ice for good measure. A real end-times forecast. Now, as someone with New Jersey roots, this sounded less like a crisis and more like a cozy winter wonderland. But I live in Virginia now, and Virginia hears “snow” and responds by politely shutting down civilization for an undetermined amount of time. So na