Days like this...

You ever have one of those days where you have a to-do list a mile long, and you're doing things allllll day, but when the day is over, absolutely NOTHING got done? That was my Wednesday. And my Friday of last week. I'm a list maker. I'll add things to my list that are already done just so I can have the satisfaction of crossing it off and this Wednesday (and then Friday which is why this post is super late), not one thing was checked off my list. Not one.

The pharmacy on base is always packed and at least a 45-minute wait just to put your prescription in (let alone waiting for it to be filled) unless you get there as soon as they open at 8:00am. But Wednesdays are my days to drive my oldest to school (he carpools the other mornings) so I wasn't able to get to the pharmacy until around 10:00am. Then, after about an hour of following my 2-year-old around the lobby area, our number was called, and I went to put in my son's prescription...only it wasn't in the system.

Half-an-hour later, and a trip upstairs to the pediatrician, and I was told that the request for his medication was missed (shocker) and they'd find someone to put it in to the pharmacy as (shocker again) his pediatrician was not in that day. Figures. The pharmacy told me they'd leave my son's ticket open so whenever the prescription did come in, they could fill it.

Item one on the list, no go. So, I went home to call my daughter's dermatologist to make an appointment for her (second item on the list). Another thirty minutes later calling her doctor's office, then Tri-Care to get the authorization number for the referral because the office couldn't see it in their system, only to find out that the referral was expired and I had to call the doctor, same one who was not in that day, to get an extension on the referral so I could make her appointment. That'll be 3-5 business days.

Item two on the list, no go.

I had plans to go through another room in our downstairs to organize and purge in preparation for our upcoming PCS (no orders yet because, why would we have those mid-March? Extra points if you can guess what tone of voice I used when I said that. IYKYK) But, by the time all of the above-mentioned items were "dealt" with, it was past time for Ry's nap, so I put her down, grabbed something to eat, and since it was Wednesday, it was early release for my older two kiddos, so I had to go to the bus stop to grab my Kindergartner off the bus.

I had also told a mom in the neighborhood I'd grab her daughter since she wouldn't make the early bus. It was raining, so the girls played inside until her mom picked her up just in time for me to pile all my kids in the car to go get my high schooler.

The rest of the day, what was left of it, went as the rest usually do. Homework, dinner, bath time, bedtime, and then the day was done.

Now, don't get me wrong, I get it was just one day, but that whole day left me feeling useless because nothing I wanted to get done got done. Whether that's rational or not is irrelevant, it's the power that things that aren't planned have over me. I like making plans. I like having lists. I like checking things off and planning accordingly. A whole day of things not going the way I planned is like a fuck-all with my head and emotions.

After enough bullshit, my brain just throws hands up, says 'screw-it', we'll try again tomorrow.

I don't make the rules...I just live here.

Friday started with a trip to the ER for possible strep with my 6-year-old. She didn't have it, which is good, but three hours of my morning was, again, spent following my two-year-old around the hospital (I swear I need a tiny fit-bit to see how many steps this girl takes in a day because I bet it's comparable to being at Disney for a day) and, again, by the time we got home, it was past nap time, I was starving and grumpy and the rest of the day was useless to me because I was already in the mindset of "I'll try again tomorrow."

I started writing this blog post on Friday morning, pre-ER visit, because my intention with my blog posts is to update them every Monday and Friday. When my brain tells me to "give up, try fresh tomorrow," it's hard to stick to that kind of schedule. When you have 4 kids and a husband with unpredictable job hours, shit's bound to come up almost daily that I have to navigate. Sometimes it's easy, sometimes it's not. But I'm trying. I worked on the post Saturday, and Sunday, and now it's Monday morning, which is already a shit-show just dealing with 2 out of my 4 kids, and at 7:36am I am literally itching to stop writing and go outside to do my work out that won't get done unless I do it now, but I am determined to finish this post.

Does anyone else feel this level of anxiety when things don't go according to plan? It's real nice to say, "just go with the flow," but I literally don't roll like that. With big things I can, which is ironic. We don't know where we're going to live in 4 months, but I'm confident things will work out. We'll be travelling across the country with four kids and I'm like, this will be great. But my daughter woke up with a stomachache so she's staying home from school, and my 8-year-old was in a mood because he was "tired" and didn't do his morning chore of emptying the dishwasher before he had to leave for school and already, I'm like, fuck it, let's just binge True Blood all day and try again tomorrow.

Send help. Or just pass the sanity please.