Seriously though

Mom memes are quite popular. Not only are they popular, but they're funny, and they're funny because they're true. You have the 'Expectation vs Reality' memes, the 'Before kids vs After kids' memes, the 'Mom does everything but dad gets the praise' memes...and the list goes on. But my favorite? My all-time favorite because it's the F-ing truth and it happens EVERY. BLESSED. DAY. of your life as a mom? The memes about mom losing her sh*t because no one listens to her.

Last Friday I posted about a great start to the New Year. That great start included almost missing the first bus of the year for my 6-year-old, unsuccessfully potty training my two-year-old, and poison oak (for the third year in a row) for my 8-year-old. The year had to get better after that right?

No. It did not get better.

I need to give a little backstory first. My boys are super fixated on technology (as are most adolescents nowadays). The girls could care less about TV or tablets. My 6-year-old is outside, dawn til dusk, every day. Which is wonderful. And the 2-year-old, much to my chagrin as it means I can't even distract her for 30 minutes to get a chore done, could care less about anything involving a screen.

My boys, however, my boys would be in front of screens every minute, of every day, until the end of time. It's ridiculous. So, my husband and I brought back our technology ban in the house (we did this over a year ago but with David deployed last summer, I was in 'whatever makes you happy and leaves me alone' mode). There is no technology from 5pm on Sunday evenings until 5pm on Friday evenings. Amazingly, after a few grumbles, it's totally fine. In the mornings, if they have time before school, they play with their toys. After school? They play outside with their friends. In the evenings, they break out the board or card games that have been collecting dust and either play with each other, or we play as a family. It really is a very nice change of pace for the entire house.

Now...what do the extracurricular habits of my children have to do with my children not listening to me? Let me circle back there.

On Monday of this week, my boys went with their friends to one of the parks in the neighborhood after school. I was super excited because not only were they out, but they were playing well with each other and our neighbors. Mom win, right?

Tuesday morning, I come downstairs to start the school day and I turn the corner into the kitchen and see my oldest, who is 15 by the way, looking through our medicine baskets in our pantry. I ask him what he's doing, and he says he's looking for 'the spray'.

I have no idea what spray he's talking about so I say, "spray for what?" And then he turns to face me and gestures to his chin and neck area and says, "for this."

If you read my blog post last week...please...please take a guess as to what my 15-year-old-who-thinks-he's-a-man-but-is-still-very-much-a-child had all over himself that had me calling Jesus' name at 6am asking for all kinds of patience.

F*cking POINSON OAK!

I about lost my ever-loving mind having just dealt with my 8-year-old getting it last week on top of the fact that this is the THIRD YEAR IN A ROW that we have had this garbage. When I say 'we' I mean both my boys. And, to make it that much more fun, my boys are severely allergic to it, and they have severe swelling to go with the severe itchiness and oozing of all the things.

At first, I was the 'suck it up buttercup' mom because, you know, this is just a natural consequence for not listening to me when I say to stay off all the hills and out of all the ditches. However, by Thursday, my son's right knee and leg were so swollen he couldn't bend his leg all the way. So off to the ER he and my 2-year-old went. I spent the next five and a half hours of my life chasing my 2-year-old around the outside of the ER until it was our turn.

I had to call on neighbors to get my other two kiddos off the bus, because I wasn't anticipating it taking THAT long, and then, after finally being seen, getting a dermatology consult for his skin, we went to the pharmacy to get his steroid and antibiotic prescription. We were the second to last people there by the time they called us. Good thing there were automatic doors and long hallways to keep Ry entertained. And we did get to see one of Cali's beautiful sunsets.

The street, the sidewalk, the parks. Those are the ONLY three places my children are allowed to play from now on. There's the saying, 'leaves of 3, let it be' to help remind people to stay away from poisonous plants, like poison oak. Well, I have a new saying for my boys. 'Leaves of 3, or if it's green, just stay the hell away from it.'