Ted Talk Tuesday...

Tuesday...I feel like people try to make Tuesday fun (it's TACO Tuesday!!!) because it's really just a Monday walk of shame. You might as well be wearing Monday's clothes and make-up because Tuesday is just Monday's re-run. Sorry, not sorry.

I'll be making the SAHM point allllll week folks...so stay tuned. The green highlight is the same as the day prior. My afternoons tend to be when I shake things up a bit. Or not. You never know.

Here we go, Tuesday:

5:20am - Wake up

5:20-6:00am - enjoy cup of coffee...alone...in silence...with just the Christmas tree lights on made loaf of sourdough bread

6:00am - Wake up the 6-year-old

6:00-6:40am - Make 6yo breakfast, pack her and 8yo snack and H2O, brush her hair (put it in a ponytail today), get myself dressed

6:40am - Wake up 8yo, walk 6yo to the bus stop

6:55am - Walk home, check to make sure 8yo is getting dressed, make his breakfast

7:00-8:00am - Work out in garage (make sure 8yo leaves at 7:20am for his bus and highschooler catches his carpool ride)

8:00am - Get 2yo out of crib, change her, get her breakfast

8:00-9:00am - folded yet another load of laundry and put it away, emptied dishwasher, filled dishwasher

9:00-10:00am - therapy zoom session for me because mental health is SO important

10:00-11:30am - took a shower, got dressed, made bed, took 2yo outside for a walk

11:30-12:30 - Went to UPS to return a package, went to Target to return 2 items, spent 30 minutes (ist that a record of some kind?!) shopping for some last Christmas presents

12:45pm - put 2yo down for nap, made myself lunch and sat down to eat it

1:00-1:30pm - finished ornament orders

1:30-2:20pm - wrapped Christmas presents

2:20pm - got toddler up from nap, walked to bus stop to grab 6yo, got her a snack

2:30-4:30pm - played outside with 2yo and 6yo, walked with neighbors

4:30pm - left to get oldest from soccer practice

5:30pm - got home, started dinner, made 2yo dinner, fed her

6:00pm - gave 2yo and 6yo bath

6:15pm - 2yo goes down to bed

6:30pm - eat dinner with kiddos (hubby not home from work yet)

7:00pm - 6yo goes to bed (after teeth and hair get brushed)

7:30pm - 8yo and 15yo watch TV, I clean up from dinner

8:00pm - 8yo goes to bed

8:15pm - Hubby gets home, set up coffee, turn off outside lights, make sure toys are picked up, run the Roomba

8:30pm - 15yo goes to bed, I shower, brush teeth and get in bed by 9:00pm (jealous yet?)

I don't know if anyone else feels like this, but I can run around ALL day, doing this, doing that, remembering this, forgetting that, remembering too late that I forgot that...all day...things are being done, but at the end of the day I still feel like I got nothing accomplished. NOTHING! And I know I did, but it just feels like it's not enough. I didn't do enough. Why is that?

And then, AND THEN, you want to hear the best part? The cherry on top of my crazy chaotic sundae? I spend what little free time I have (like when I'm eating my lunch) job hunting. I am literally LOOKING FOR MORE WORK TO DO.

And the worst part is I am 0% qualified for the jobs I am looking at because, you know, I've been following my husband around the country and back again for the past 15 years on top of raising our 4 kids and I've barely been able to keep my teaching license from lapsing let alone acquire any new skillset that would make me even remotely competitive. But, yeah, let's job search.

Granted there would be monetary compensation for aforesaid work, but where do I think I have the time to do work for someone else when I am literally struggling to complete the to-do list for my family on the daily?!?

I firmly believe that a major part of my problem is society making me feel like being a SAHM isn't enough. Why can't it be enough? My husband and I had this conversation where we talked about having a partnership. No, I don't currently work, but I do the things at home that he can't or doesn't have time for. He works so I can be home and raise our children when they are at an age where they can benefit most from having me here for them, especially when he's deployed twice in 2 years.

Can we, as a society, just stop making women, or men who stay home for that matter, feel like what they do ALL DAY LONG, somehow isn't enough? Cause this mom could really use a break from feeling like I should be donating an organ in order to feel like I'm contributing to society.