To all the Luisas Under Pressure....

Like the rest of America, my kids and I watched Encanto recently and all I have to say is...WOW. Talk about ALL of the emotions hitting close to home.

Now I know everyone is all about Bruno...

And I agree, the song is beyond catchy and fun to sing and I cannot get it Out. Of. My. Head! However, my jam on repeat is Luisa's song, Surface Pressure.

As a mom of 4 kids, as a military spouse whose husband is working 12-hour days, 7 days a week, and might as well be deployed that's how little I can depend on him lately with the day-to-day goings on with our family, Surface Pressure describes what my life feels like right now (especially when it can seem like so many others have everything together).

First, I have got to thank the creators of Encanto for visually portraying Luisa with some muscles. I know her strength was magical by nature, but I don't think her character would have fit had she been some pretty little thing who could lift a church.

I'm not sure if the articles I've read about the creators having to fight Disney to keep her muscular are accurate, but good on 'em if they are because girl looks good! And as a mom who is working out and lifting weights to be a positive physical role model for (all my kids) but especially my daughters, in a world where there is so much negativity about female bodies, I love that there is now a beautiful, strong, muscular woman for them to see as well in a Disney movie.

As much as Luisa is such a positive physical example for the girls who watch her, her sense of "I have to be of service"..."I don't ask how hard the work is"..."I take what I'm handed"...and constantly feeling under pressure to perform, and perform well, was like therapy to my ears.

I felt seen! I'm sure I'm not the only wife and mom who feels as though we just need to roll with the punches that life throws at us while making it seem effortless. PCS season is gearing up for military families around the world and I already know several families who got the major news of an overseas move that came out of left field and wasn't on their radar AT ALL.

One mom told me she was thankful that she had a few hours while her kids were in school to process the news about their move to Okinawa in just a few months and that she had to get excited to tell them, so they could be excited, even though right then she was anything but.

Moms everywhere feel the pressure to get it all done, and I do mean ALL. They are expected to raise clean, healthy, polite, well-educated children, remain fit themselves, have good hair days daily, cook, keep a clean home, have an active social life, active sex life, participate in school PTA, be sport's team mom...IT. NEVER. STOPS.

So, when Luisa talked about the "Pressure that'll tip, tip, tip, Till you just go pop..." I was nodding my head at the TV screen saying, "Yes girl! I feel you!!"

Personally, a lot of the daily expectations are put on me by, well, me. I have this need for everything to be 'just right' in my home because it's what I can control (see my post about Control for that insight into the chaos that is my brain). It's a knee jerk, 'I can do it' or 'Of course I can handle it' mentality that sometimes I just need to stop. No one can do everything. (No, not even you!)

I like to think I'm getting better at that. I feel as though I'm finding it easier to ask for help when it's needed (whether I'm asking my husband, neighbors, friends). For example, I told my husband months ago that, on the weekend, I need a break from cooking or even thinking about what to cook, at least just for one day. So now, every Sunday, my husband makes a big pancake breakfast, and we have pizza (or some other frozen, pop it in the oven, entree) for dinner. All I had to do was SPEAK UP instead of keeping it all bottled up which just led to me being bitchy all the time because I was choosing to suffer in silence.

No one likes a martyr, Karen.

So, thank you, Encanto, for Luisa's strong muscles, for her emotional vulnerability, and for learning that just because she can do all the things, doesn't mean she has to do it all alone...or at all...because no one should be under that much pressure! And thanks for making such a great song so I can rock out while I remind myself of the same.